If I could be so eloquent,
to alleviate the swelling of words
festering like bacteria in my throat.
Like a rabid animal
foaming at the mouth
Jaws snapping, teeth gnashing.
Fever dreams,
I'm in the Garden of Eden
Slapping the apple from Eve's hand,
Rotten milk drips from her bosom
Adam clutches his side,
the serpent swallows its tail.
You say I'm beautiful the way
a tattoo is ugly as it heals.
Scabs obscuring some great art.
Scar tissue, fleshy and pink.
Dead skin falling
like snowflakes -
or ash,
depending on which
disaster you bring about.
Ointments and antibiotics do not do.
I'm prescribed free literature
sweaty pats on the back
the comfort of strangers.
Self-medicating, self-care malpractice.
Glossy brochures,
the bulge of pill bottles in my pockets.
Patchwork therapy keeps me together
with band-aids, duct tape,
bits of string collected through the years.
Help me by telling me everything
I want to hear.
Gold stars on my calendar for every
day I don't think of you.
If I could be so eloquent,
to alleviate the dumb thoughts
spreading like a rash over my brain.
The blisters so itchy and unsightly.
To say,
Doc, you gotta help me, Doc.
Find me a cure for this love,
whatever it was-
an infection.
